Just Wrought

Recovering playwright, once won a STRANGER Genius Award for theater. Now writing a bloated novel about… G-d help me! Theatre.

Tag: poetry

  • Graveyards in Heaven

    6/21/17

    Last night I dreamed I was walking through the graveyards of heaven.

    [I couldn’t read the names on the stones.]

    But I did rubbings all the same.

  • We Can All Die like This

    We Can All Die like This

    Swimming in slanting light
    the sky’s blue scrubbed
    pale of summer’s fullness.

    Don’t imagine these blazing leaves
    are grieving. Don’t imagine
    you will be either.

  • Scratch for B-Sides

    A liar speaks the truth. Trust me.
    It’s dark out there. You need to know this stuff.
    Every particle knows every other, position and momentum,
    since that very First Charlie Brown Christmas Big Bang.
    Don’t let that uncertain German snow you.

    It’s cool, actually. Nothing but solipsism.
    You. Carving yourself out of nothingness. Me.

    And I can’t just give you my love, my love.
    I have to watch it roll on edge, spinning tighter
    and faster round the black hole it’s headed for,
    until at last it’s just a levitating flash
    a moment before it—winking—drops
    apparently forever. But physicists know shit
    poets don’t: postulate white holes,
    which spit instead of swallow.

    I stumble. You stumble. You hope I hope.
    You fall, I’m lost: both spinning ellipses.
    A penny’s a good as a quarter.
    It doesn’t matter how much the coins are worth.
    A Sacajawea no better/worse than a washer,
    or a slug forged to fool the washing machine.

    It’s the spin and the ellipses. It’s the arc
    you trace and the flash and the drop.
    I can’t describe why to you. No kid could.
    A kid would say what I’m saying now:
    Give me a nickel. I’ll show you. It’s cool.

    Trust me.

  • Sweet Air

    I grew up in a house on Sweet Air Road just outside the tiny town of Jacksonville, Maryland.

    This poem’s from around a quarter of a century ago, maybe longer: it is undated. I remember that I typed the surviving copy — and I do mean typed: it still has the little dabs of Wite Out® where I screwed up — from the handwritten original at my temp job at Northern Life Insurance, circa 1993. Suffice it to say that when I wrote this, I was still a kid, though I would have fiercely argued otherwise. (Clearly, I had a tabbing problem.)

    One working definition of an adequate poem is “an improvement on silence.” I think that, at that time at least,  this was.

    Sweet Air

    breathes alcohol blossoms
    blurs pressed-flat, cut-dried memories.

        Turn a corner in that house
    in your mind
        sick, sweet air finds you.

    Follow your brother
        in your dream
    into the black at the bottom of the basement stairs;

    Watch as he turns and you see
    his face has changed—the sheeted head
    of a ghost—not your brother at all.

            Don’t run.  Go dumb—paralyzed.

    Dream again

        see a man, strange and dangerous,
        standing in your bedroom grinning.
    Scream silent like they say abortions do.
    Know that if downstairs they
        could hear they’d come

            warm to you.

    but they can’t
    so they won’t
                 won’t
        won’t won’t
            warm to you.

    Listen to the one come now
    (ah, you’re not dreaming)
        cricking knee climbs the stairs;
    It’s Mom

    Dad comes more silently,
        soft drunken concentration up
            the carpeted steps

            exploding through the door, roaring!

    Lie rigidly, impossibly asleep.
    It wouldn’t have saved you if you were.

  • Instant Messenger

    Don’t let not knowing who to mail it to
    stop you from sending praise. Just drop
    gratitude anywhere, and everywhere, and—
    guaranteed—it’ll get where it’s going.

    Praise the connections and contingencies,
    the blocks and bruises, the stupid choices
    that led to this dreamy-eyed kid kissing you.
    Praise every worn corner of concrete.

  • The Rooks

    One is black, one is white.
    Both are black, both are white.
    Only two: there are no more.
    But you need four in proper war.

    Neither bishops nor a night.
    One is black, both are white.
    Built as towers for the fight.
    Both are black, but one is white.

    (more…)

  • Study for Righteousness

    I was jotting notes for an upcoming episode of Markheim when it suddenly dawned on me that what I had was damned close to a poem.  So I polished it up a little and sent it off to the amazing Omar Willey, publisher of The Seattle Star.  In his intro to it on Facebook yesterday he called it, “A timely poem … that I’ve been saving for just the proper occasion.”  An approving nod from Omar is worth more to me than praise from any Caesar, but I’d happily swap “timely” for some magic to dampen the vicious necromancy of all the guns we covet and clutch in this country. 

    You can read the poem here at The Seattle Star.

    And while you’re there, think about given this amazing new arts outlet some love.  A bookmark, a shoutout on Facebook or Twitter, or even a ten-dollar donation

  • St. Peckinpah

    St. Peckinpah

     
    “Come” she told me, “with your shame and your gringo.” I looked up & stepped toward
    the old woman, black habit
    standing under the sun-white arch of the church.
    She was called Agatha, mistress of God.
    And I would be called graverobber, trapped in a movie
    trapped in Mexico, some hundred & eight miles from the border,
    with a man’s head in a Scotch plaid hatbox. Fucking flies. And not a whorehouse in sight.
    This is a dirty old town without clear pavement markings
    & I drove right into the doorway of the little apostolic house of Jesus
    before I noticed the labored eyes of Our Lord looking down on me.
    I parked the sedan. It purred raggedly, panting exhaust
    like a hole in a lung. Then the engine stopped altogether & I took my cue to get out
    & get religion. Head, I’m taking you with me.
    There’s nothing sacred about a hole in the ground. The Church
    cuts off lips, fingers, the petrified genitals of saints made merchandise …
    but me I’m seventy miles an hour
    out of midnight, the village cemetery in Jalisco,
    men shouting in Spanish on brown horses, women on horses
    shouting & everybody’s got a gun.
    Hypocrites, double-crossers … Head, you’re the only one in this country who’s not trying to kill me
    & I appreciate that. Bygones are bygones, the past is the past & the past
    wants us all to be happy. I’m going to stagger into the confessional
    & stagger back out. Then we’ll go see Mr. Big
    & his boyfriends. So don’t touch anything on the tables. So stop looking at me
    with your goddamn fucking eyes.

    David Penn
    1995

    “peckinpah”
    by Omar Willey

    (more…)

  • Ikkyū

    Recently I was having some drinks with some of the NewsWrights United team after a rather intense creative session. Somehow the string of topics led to haiku or Zen or something that put me in mind of the great whore-loving, haiku-scribing Zen Master from the 15th Century, Ikkyū. I mentioned him. Everyone laughed. They thought I was making him up. I wish I had been. I wish I had that kind of imagination. But no, once again, the truth outshines my paltry attempts at fiction. To follow is an essay I wrote about Ikkyū some years back for a text-only proto-social networking site called Everything2.com.

    here I am simply trying to get into your head
    you think you were born you die what a pity
    1

    Zen masters are infamous as a group for their peculiarity and iconoclasm, so to set yourself off as peculiarly iconoclastic among them is quite a feat, and yet such was the attainment of Ikkyū Sōjun, the abbot of Kyoto’s Daitokuji Temple, who called himself “Crazy Cloud”.

    sin like a madman until you can’t do anything else
    no room for anything more

    Ikkyū was born in 1394 A.D., the bastard son of Emperor Go Komatsu and his favorite lady-in-waiting2. When the Empress got word of the pregnancy, she banished Ikkyū’s mother to one of the poorest sections of Kyoto. At six he began his Zen training as an acolyte at Ankokuji Temple. He would strain sorely at the reins of temple discipline for the rest of his life, but it was there that he began quickly mastering the dual arts of poetry and calligraphy. (The modern Western disconnect between composing verse and physically placing it on the paper would be as absurd to the medieval Japanese mind as dancing having nothing to do with choreography.)

    I’ve burnt all the holy pages I used to carry
    but poems flare in my heart

    After his first master died, Ikkyū sought another in the legendarily severe abbot Kasō. His new master lived up to his reputation, leaving Ikkyū to wait outside at the temple gate for five days and then pouring a bucket of water on his head before admitting him. Some ten years later Ikkyū achieved enlightenment upon hearing a crow’s caw. He went to Kasō with the good news, but his master scorned: “This is only the enlightenment of an arhat. You are not a master yet.”

    The disciple replied. “That suits me fine. I despise masters.”

    Kasō barked out a laugh. “Yes! And with that, you are a master.”

    one of you saved my satori paper I know it piece by piece you
    pasted it back together now watch me burn it once and for all

    Kasō died when Ikkyū was thirty-five years old.

    my dying teacher could not wipe himself unlike you disciples
    who use bamboo I cleaned his lovely ass with my bare hands

    Astounded with grief, Ikkyū spend the next four decades of his life bouncing around from temple to temple, whorehouse to sake bar.

    ten fussy days running this temple all red tape
    look me up if you want to in the bar whorehouse fish market

    a crazy lecher shuttling between whorehouse and bar
    this past master paints south north east west with his cock

    when I was forty-seven everybody came to see me
    so I walked out forever

    don’t hesitate get laid that’s wisdom
    sitting around chanting what crap

    At age seventy-seven the fiery monk fell in love with a blind teen-age girl named Mori.

    I was like an old leafless tree until we met green buds burst and blossom
    now that I have you I’ll never forget what I owe you

    your name Mori means forest like the infinite fresh
    green distances of your blindness

    I’d sniff you like a dog and taste you
    then kiss your other mouth endlessly if I could white hair or not

    Five years later, two years into his ninth decade of life, Ikkyū was appointed abbot of Daitokuji Temple, his beloved master Kasō’s old job. This particular Zen lineage would, two hundred years later, produce the famous master Hakuin as just one of its important dharma heirs.

    if there’s nowhere to rest at the end
    how can I get lost on the way?

    Ikkyū died at the age of 87.

    long life
    the wild pines want it too

    It’s the keenly direct, contemporaneous feel of Ikkyū’s verse that stands out for me. Compared to him, other prominent figures in the Zen canon feel like constructs, mouthpieces– important, but not intimate. Ikkyū is unquestionably a person, talking to you, not 600 years ago, right now.

    don’t worry please please how many times do I have to say it
    there’s no way not to be who you are and where

    fuck flattery success money
    all I do is lie back suck my thumb

    all koans just lead you on
    but not the delicious pussy of the young girls I go down on

    why is it all so beautiful this fake dream
    this craziness why?

    stare at it until your eyes drop out
    this desk this wall this unreal page

    nature’s a killer I won’t sing to it
    I hold my breath and listen to the dead singing under the grass

    don’t wait for the man standing in the snow
    to cut off his arm help him now

    the crow’s caw was okay but one night with a lovely whore
    opened a wisdom deeper than what that bird said

    self other right wrong wasting your life arguing
    you’re happy really you are happy

    only one koan matters
    you

    ********************************************

    1All translations of Ikkyū’s verse are from Stephen Berg’s excellent Crow with No Mouth. If you’re at all intrigued, buy it. You’ll read it for the rest of your life.

    2When his mother died, she left behind this brief note:

    To Ikkyū:

    I have finished my work in this life and am now returning to Eternity. I wish you to become a good student and to realize your Buddha-nature. You will know if I am in hell and whether I am always with you or not.

    If you become a man who realizes that the Buddha and his follower Bodhidharma are your own servants, you may leave off studying and work for humanity. The Buddha preached for 49 years and in all that time found it not necessary to speak one word. You ought to know why. But if you don’t and yet wish to, avoid thinking fruitlessly.

    Your Mother,
    Not born, not dead.
    September first.

    P.S. The teaching of Buddha was mainly for the purpose of enlightening others. If you are dependent on any of its methods, you are naught but an ignorant insect. There are 80,000 books on Buddhism and if you should read all of them and still not see your own nature, you will not even understand this letter. This is my will and testament.

    3Even as a young boy, Ikkyū exhibited some of Zen’s cagier instincts. His master owned a rare and precious antique teacup, which one day a fellow acolyte of Ikkyū’s happened to break. When the master showed up, Ikkyū took the pieces from the other boy and hid them behind his own back. Facing the master he asked: “Sensei, why do people have to die?”

    The master replied, “This is the natural way. Everything has to die having fulfilled its allotted time to live.”

    Ikkyū showed his master the pieces of his precious cup: “Sensei, it was time for your cup to die.”

    Sources:

    Berg, Stephen. Crow with No Mouth. Copper Canyon Press, 1989.

    Stevens, John. Masters: A Maverick, a Master of Masters, and a Wandering Poet. Kodansha International, 1995.

    Reps, Paul & Nyogen Senzaki. Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. Tuttle Publishing, 1985.

  • To Kill Yourself with a Cannonball

    To Kill Yourself with a Cannonball

    To kill yourself with a cannonball
    Requires a grim determination;
    A devotion quite beyond the norms
    Of self-extermination.

    Contrary to more mundane means,
    It’s important that you show
    A knack for holding on to things,
    As opposed to letting go.

    To drown oneself with a twelve-pound shot
    Takes physical precision.
    It’s not the sort of thing one tries
    If prone to indecision.

    To grasp the sphere with both hands firm
    Is an easy proposition,
    But to lift it clear and cross the deck
    With a hangman’s erudition,

    Then scale the rail’s see-sawing height
    With both hands occupied,
    And take your leap into the swell
    Before your mates have spied,

    Well, it’s really quite a trick to pull.
    I can’t blithely recommend it.
    Though truth be told, there’s poetry
    In such a strange, stark way to end it.

    So hold on tight for as long you’re able
    While you watch the heavens recoil.
    Only drop your weight when it’s too late
    To hope your plan might spoil.